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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864398">Green, I love you green</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_night/pseuds/lonely_night'>lonely_night</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>El Ministerio del Tiempo (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, they both need hugs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:12:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_night/pseuds/lonely_night</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“My name is Federico,” he says.<br/>Julián clings to the name like a candle in darkness.</p>
<p>Lorca’s presence helps Julián in more ways than one.</p>
<p>English translation of: Verde, que te quiero verde</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Federico García Lorca &amp; Julián Martínez, Federico García Lorca/Julián Martínez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Green, I love you green</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            A translation of

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857078">Verde, que te quiero verde</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_night/pseuds/lonely_night">lonely_night</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián doesn’t understand why the man appears in his dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From the first look he finds himself enchanted by his eyes, eyes that search for something within him. He wants to ask him what he’s looking for, but when he opens his mouth the man turns his head to look forward. To look at the scene of all his nightmares: the death of his wife, the death of Maite.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They wait together on the bench and the uncertainty that Julián feels rises. He wants to ask this man with the twinkling eyes and tender voice who he is, if he understands that he’s watching the worst and most secret day of his life.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, he finds that his company is like a soft blanket and his mouth doesn’t even want to open to ask what right he has to be in his nightmare. This incapability to speak makes him angry, but when the stranger starts to hum softly Julián doesn’t want to shout, he wants to cry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know if it would be right to call the man a stranger. Julián is certain that he would remember a man like this, but despite this, he has a strange idea in his head that he’s known him for years.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Julián wakes up he has tears in his eyes like he always does, but he doesn’t cry with sadness. He is enveloped in calm and he cries because he doesn’t understand why.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His chocolate eyes pierce his dreams, eyes as inquisitive as they are kind, full of a certain lightness. The man’s soft smile seems to be burnt into Julián’s mind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My name is Federico”, he tells him. Julián clings to the name like a candle in darkness.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the past, nighttime was a time to dread, but now it transforms itself into something so precious that Julián goes to bed an hour earlier than normal, with an excited fire in his belly that he tries to ignore.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For days afterwards Julián dreams almost the exact same dream, there are only two differences;- the man’s eyes grow more curious, and Julián starts to feel his warmth as much as he does after waking up as in his dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Salvador gives them their next mission Julián feels a bit annoyed. He knows it’s selfish to feel like this but he worries that the late nights that come with the hours of research at the start of a new mission are going to affect the time that he has to dream of the man that gives him so much comfort in his nightmares.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He worries more for the inevitable day when the man no longer appears and when he will have to surrender to his loneliness once more.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, the mission surprises him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián’s eyes are fixed on the theatre stage, or to be more precise, on one actor in particular.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can see him so clearly, the same as in his dreams, his face always illuminated by a golden light, even when there are no windows or light.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man, Federico García Lorca, Julián realises with a wave of emotion, has a calming presence, but his eyes have the same intelligent activity as always.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lorca hasn’t noticed them enter during his conversation with the director, and Julián is thankful for this. He can’t stop looking at him, with his mouth half open, so much so that Amelia understands, “isn’t he the one you dreamt about?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The very same,” he responds without looking at her, incapable of tearing his eyes away from the expressive man, dressed in all white, who confuses him so much.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even when the director faints, Julián is slow to react, and when Lorca tells him in all innocence that they can take him to his room so that he can rest and recover, thoughts that are far from innocent run around Julián’s mind and he can’t stop himself from looking at him in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián studies the man as much as he can without being too obvious, and when Federico enters the room Julián notes that he walks with an ease that gives him comfort. Despite this, his entire body seems to stop when Julián introduces himself, and in an instant he feels vulnerable. Surely it can’t be possible that Lorca knows him from his dreams too?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he knows that it has to be true when he realises that Lorca is studying him, not with a clinical eye but with a confused and curious expression.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You and I haven’t met before, have we?” He asks in a low voice, and all too quickly the situation feels intimate. Julián gets goosebumps, “no, no. You must be confusing me with someone else.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How strange. I’m one of those people that doesn’t forget a face they see.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lorca looks into his eyes like he’s looking into his soul and Julián feels a bit guilty for having lied. He suspects that Lorca knows.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, Julián relaxes with a coffee in the Ministry’s canteen after the others have left.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wants to know the mysterious man that he shares his dreams with.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spends hours and days reading his poems and his plays, lets himself be covered in the simple words, brave words, words that are rich in life. His work breathes, it has colour and space.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián feels whilst he reads.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a lot of things.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And after that, he dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sees green and he dreams of Federico.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man accompanies him, sometimes in silence and only with his physical presence, so calm, and his figure seems to whisper calming words to Julián. His figure radiates life. Julián supposes that he must be a bad person because he feels so alive at a scene of death, but he is grateful all the same.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They always say the same things, they speak in the receptive circle of dreams. It annoys Julián, who wants to say so much more, but the events always happen the same, involuntarily- such is the nature of dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is most grateful for the only physical touch between them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My name is Federico.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Julián,” he says, and in Lorca’s eyes he can see understanding. Lorca recognises him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they shake hands Julián turns his face towards Lorca at the exact moment that the car collides with Maite.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For the first time, Julián does not witness the crash.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he wakes up for the fifth or sixth night of these dreams Julián no longer cries.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amelia and Alonso enjoy the progress of the film in the student residence but Julián’s mind cannot concentrate properly, and when Lorca sits down in the seat close to him it becomes difficult for him to do anything other than breathe. He listens to Lorca with an intensity that shocks even him. The man’s words are melodical and Julián is surprised to discover that, even when he makes jokes, Federico speaks with a soft and calm voice. But it isn’t a surprise that his jokes are as funny as they are intelligent and Julián laughs every time. He finds that he smiles more easily these days.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s difficult for him when Federico tells him that he loves Dalï, and harder still when Julián sees how Dalí treats him, sometimes like a lover but other times as though he were a submissive and naive dog.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he searches Dalí’s room he doesn’t feel guilty.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His heart hurts for Federico, especially when Julián wants to get down on his knees and worship him. His face shows none of this but he is certain that the other man can read it in his eyes anyway, like he seems to be able to read everything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re from the future, aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s the first time that he asks him and Julián gives it his best effort so that Federico won’t ask again because he doesn’t think that he could lie to this pure man twice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Federico continues to talk about his nightmare and Julián finds that he can’t breathe. He swallows dryly but his eyes are full of water. Lorca’s dark eyes search his and Julián knows that he can see his pain- it is reflected in the eyes of the man in front of him. He realises with a jolt of emotion that it hurts Federico to cause him pain. “Have you dreamed with me?” Federico asks him with tenderness.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dalí appears, Lorca jumps a little in surprise and Julián returns to being present in his surroundings again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián gets used to seeing Lorca behind him like a comforting shadow, his suits, always white, give a certain light to his days at the residence, but he likes it most when Lorca and Amelia, Alonso and himself have time to watch the progress of the actors on stage. Julián can sit down close to the shining man and bathe in his purity, his calm light. He can watch him reciting the script with his quiet voice and he can watch him breathing the stage with his eyes. Lorca seems to inhale the scene with his intensity, and Julián knows it is a marvellous sight that he feels honoured to see.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he receives the letter, Federico is there, and in his arms, it is not an embarrassment to cry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián is fond of Lorca and he can’t deny it, not to the others, not even to Salvador, his boss, and he finds that he doesn’t want to deny it. “Lorca is fucking great, but I can’t stop his assassination!” He shouts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels useless, trapped by the Ministry in this game of rules, pathetic rules, unchanging rules, rules that aren’t worth anything if he can’t save Federico, the light that has been accompanying him everywhere, even in his dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds that when all the action and betrayal with Irene is finished, he doesn’t even have the strength to argue when Alonso says that Lorca is in love with him. It hurts his heart too much as it is to tell him, “no. He’s in love with Dalí and will continue being so for several years”.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t say that he would like it if it were how Alonso suggested, he doesn’t say that he would like to meet Lorca again in another time, a time after Dalí, he doesn’t say that he himself is in love with Federico and he believes that he will be for several years.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can only recite to them Lorca’s foreboding poem about his own death. He feels that a bit of his heart breaks with each word he speaks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To the future,”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And to talent.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They toast each other again with an intimacy that shocks Julián’s heart.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Julián, can I speak with you alone?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián knows what he would like to happen but he knows that he would be asking too much of Federico to beg him for the impossible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re leaving too, aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián knows that its useless to hide things from the man because he can read him like one of his poems, but he tries all the same, “why do you say that?’</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because you have a goodbye sort of face.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I so obvious?” He suspects that it’s not because his emotions are obvious but more because Federico knows where to look in his eyes to see them. “But yes, you’re right. I don’t think that we will meet again,” he says, with his heart fracturing. He knows that Lorca is not going to live to reach forty years old.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Federico looks at him with his kind eyes and a comforting smile, “I wouldn’t be so sure; we still have dreams.” Julián can’t respond because he feels that, for an instant, his stomach has filled with fear because, how is he going to survive if Lorca stops appearing in his dreams?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Last night I thought up a poem,” he continues, and his attention returns to the present, to the radiant man in front of him, “the dream sails over time, floating like a sailboat…”, he pauses and Julián can’t resist, the feelings of sadness and fear rise inside him,</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No one can open seeds in the heart of the dream.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The melody of Federico’s voice pauses and he opens his eyes, confused, “but how can you know a poem that I thought of last night?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián doesn’t say anything: he can’t.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re from the future, aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Federico’s excited eyes search his face with an intensity that makes him feel transparent, as though his entire soul were open to him like a blank page for Federico to give colour and words, tender caresses of a pen, writing words of love over and over and over again until the green flower within him that he thought had died after Maite, grows and grows and Julián wants to write his words on the heavens.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián doesn’t speak for some minutes. He doesn’t need to: Lorca can understand him completely.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes him a long time to finally talk but when he does he says the only word that he knows with certainty to be pure: “Federico…”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The other man’s eyes search his soul with a certain madness, a desperation, as though he’s looking for something to keep with him during the dark times ahead of him. Julián tries to show him everything with his eyes but he cannot say more than “goodbye, friend.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Federico looks at him with confusion and uncertainty, as though he hasn’t found exactly what he’s looking for, and when Julián can’t look at him any longer, he pulls him into a hug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels his conflicting emotions inside him and he fights strongly against the tears that threaten him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He caresses the back of his neck and looks at him for too short a time, trying to burn into his memory the moles on his face that look like stars. He wants to keep this image of Federico with his curious eyes and soft smile to hold in his mind for all of time.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Say goodbye to the others from me,” and with all his remaining strength he leaves Federico.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For days, months and years afterwards, Federico appears in Julián’s dreams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He continues to give him comfort and a sense of calm when everything is tense, and Julián continues to love him more and more each night.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t appear all the time, but when he does, the usual events do not reoccur; sometimes they talk about things happening or things that happened in Lorca’s life, sometimes of poetry, sometimes of Julián’s thoughts. Other times they don’t talk about anything, they simply exist.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Federico has never appeared again at Maite’s death scene, and for this Julián is grateful. He speaks with Federico in green parks that he’s never seen before, in the rooms of large, old monuments, in streets where festivals are being held and life flourishes in all its colours.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once, and only once, Julián sees Federico’s death. It takes him several nights with a happy, calm Federico, as alive as one can be in dreams, whispering words of comfort, to sleep peacefully once again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the nights that Julián values above all others are the nights when they find themselves in his bedroom. Julián tries to tell him and show him everything that he didn’t say during his time at the residency. He is lucky that the dreams are always so clear and alive- they don’t feel like dreams but like reality, which is what Federico says a few times.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián writes his words of love with his fingers on the soft skin of Federico’s back. The words are pale in contrast with Federico’s expressive and alive words, but they still express his love. It’s true that Julián finds that he expresses his love best with his touch and his lips, and Federico responds with his moans of pleasure and his eyes that want and love.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One night, when they are in his bedroom, Federico looks at him with an indescribable expression, “I’ve got an inkling that we are going to see each other again”, he tells him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you mean in this lifetime?” Julián asks, confusion and hope rising inside him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. I think so, yes. I’ve had a premonition.” Lorca smiles softly and his eyes shine with happiness but also with a certain sadness, “I think I have to go, Julián.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julián frowns, his heart heavy, “no, Federico, I don’t understand. Don’t leave me love, please.” He understands without knowing why that Federico is no longer going to appear in his dreams. A desperation grows in his voice, unbidden.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lorca’s eyes continue to shine but Julián isn’t sure if it’s from happiness sadness, or because Julián is crying himself, and everything seems to shine when one cries.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodbye lover.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When, one day in the future, Julián sees him again, Federico looks at him with his kind and mysterious eyes, and a happy smile. Julián walks towards his light.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are cherished as always! Xox</p></blockquote></div></div>
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